Sexual Energy

Sam is on his way to the doctor this morning, to discuss and hopefully resolve the waning libido energy deficiency thing.

I asked him yesterday, if he loved me 'like that.' I mean, there's no doubt that he loves me. A lot. Beyond reason I think, some days. But, we've known each other for years and years, and it would be perfectly understandable if his undying, intense love for me was friendship-love, so intense that it could be mistaken by him as romantic-love. So I asked.

The conversation didn't go on long, and we were both in tears at the end of it. But they were good tears. He is overcome with every conceivable kind of love for me (excepting mother-love, and other such weirdness), and it brings him to tears when he thinks about it. Happy tears. And I, well, I am the luckiest girl in the world, to be loved so completely and utterly, and it brings me to tears every time it's reaffirmed for me.

And Sam said, when I asked if he's sexually attracted to me, 'I think about throwing you down and raping you all the time. It's just that I don't have that kind of energy.'

So this morning, he's going to bare his manhood soul, leaving his pride vulnerable, to his doctor and ask for suggestions. It's an energy thing, it's not a waning libido thing, from what he said yesterday. That was my fear, and I don't know if the doc will tell him anything besides to find a job that doesn't ream him with 3rd shift, and to quit smoking.

Keep your fingers crossed for us, won't you? Of course, if this gets resolved, you know you'll be rewarded for your finger-crossing with juicy, delicious, sex-filled posts, instead of this rather depressing drivel I've been going on with of late.